JON AND DES
Two words: Free Food!
I'm in your wedding party... might be awkward if I didn't show.
This is my only chance to catch a show at the 40 Watt... concert starts during the reception by the way
I love you guys and wouldn't miss it for the world.
I'm lame. In fact, on a lameness scale of 1 to 10, I'm a solid 9.56732
I'm having a baby that day (not an excuse if you're in the wedding party... yes, I'm talking to you.)
I'll be visiting Yakutsk (that's a real country right and not just from RISK?) It's a secret trip though, so if you ask people, they won't know what you're talking about
I don't know who you are or how you got my address (congrats on the whole wedding thing though.)
I'd really love to, but unfortunately, circumstances prevent my presence at your upcoming event (Clearly you had your lawyer write this one)